Valentines Day once again and I'm spending it alone. ChI called this afternoon to talk. Her job in New York is going well and she's taking some art classes as well. She said she misses me and that she's coming down to visit in about a week and a half. I told her about singer-girl and she laughed at me - "Always chasing the skirts that run away the fastest aren't you Dean?" Laughing at her I reminded her that she was one of those girls, to which we both sighed and there was a moment of quiet... Yeah, I miss ChI - it's safe to say I miss her a lot.

So I went out with singer-girl on Saturday and it was nice. We went to get a few beers at the subrocket and catch a friend of hers gallery opening downtown. By the time we got there most of the wine was gone, but we walked around and looked at the sculptures anyway. They were mostly plaster of paris interpretations of Christian idols. I'd seen work like it before but the sculptures were all crafted beautifully. I could tell that a lot of time had been put into them so I really enjoyed looking at them all.

We went back to her place for a martini after the show and talked. She sat so close to me I could barely stand it - so insanely conscious of every time her leg touched mine or her fingers brushed my shoulder. Incredibly erotic agony... She was toying with me I knew it. We talked and drank until about 12:30 when she said she was going to call it a night. For a second I thought, "Well maybe this is a clue!" Until she opened the door and said, "Give me a call next week, Dean." Damn!

She's really something.

I walked home frustrated with only one cigarette left. So I saved it for when I got inside. I took my clothes off, laid down in bed, lit my cigarette, and fantasized about her until I fell asleep. I wondered if she knew I was thinking all these thoughts about her - decked in a pleasure suit. I wondered if she could read my mind - she certainly read my emotions.

In a dream I reached out to touch her face and she bit one of my fingers off.

Dean