Work last night was terrible. I couldn't stop thinking about ChI all evening and smoked probably two packs of cigarettes as I tended bar. What frustrates me the most is that I think I have more feelings for her than I probably should. I have never told ChI that I love her and I don't really think that I do - but at the same time am I thinking about her too much for just 'friends who fuck'? She's driving me up the wall and she doesn't even know she's doing it.

I got off work around 3am and walked over to ChI's where she was up packing and getting her stuff in order. I hadn't seen her in a few weeks due to my trip to New York so we spent some time sitting cross legged on her floor chatting about my friend Lou and my mother's antics during the holidays. It was weird, we were both so quiet and complacent. I leaned over and kissed her on the lips with probably more tenderness than I've ever shown her. She kissed back and we made love on the floor. The cold hardwood felt good on my naked back as she straddled me - the stark contrast between her warmth and the cool floor was mind blowing. I think it was some of the best sex we've ever had.

I spent the night with her, though I ached to be in my own bed. It was almost too good, I couldn't let go, and I don't think I'll be able to let go in a week when she leaves. Never thought it would come to this - my heart compromised by a beautiful brown haired girl.

Dean