So, I am back from my hiatus. If anyone actually reads my writings here they might wonder where I've gone. Well my friends, it has been a long 2 weeks. I journeyed to New York City to see my mother and spend the holidays with her as I usually do. I don't see her all year except for the week at christmas/newyears time. She was in good health, and I spent much of my time there writing in my book and making small sketches. I made some progress on a series of small works I am doing for a friends' art opening in March. My mother was pleased to see my activity, I think she has this idea that all I ever do is get drunk with my friends and run around jaunting on crazy adventures (which isn't entirely far-fetched) so she's not quite so stressed out when I'm being constructive. We watched the ball drop together on TV on new years eve and I went to bed early after having a bowl of cereal around midnight.

Isn't it disgusting how domestic I get after a week with my mother?

I spent the next week at my friend Lou's from college. We went out to a few nightclubs and saw some great New York hardcore bands on the east side. I wish I could remember their names.

The biggest shock of coming back down here though hasn't been getting reacclamated to my environment, my job, or even my friends whom I haven't seen in weeks. It's something altogether different.

ChI has decided not to return to school this semester and move to Boston. She didn't tell anyone and she had apparently only been thinking about it for a few weeks before the end of last semester. I can't say I am devastated because I know how much this town stressed her out, but at the same time it's a little upsetting. I try not to let myself get upset by things like this. She's doing what she needs to do in order to stay happy and I have to support that. However, I'm going to miss one of my best and closest friends in this city. I hesitate to call her my lover, because I am very apprehensious about falling in love and ChI and I shared passionate sex and friendship - I'm not sure there was ever love.

So, I've got a week left with her and will try to spend it as best I can. I'm working every night this week so you'll all get some updates I am sure. In other web news - this woman at BlkLstd is quite peculiar. I am on the webring solely for fascination with how bizarrely she conducts her business. For example, I applied to the list at first and was rejected because my content was "not suited for the webring". After posting some nefarious comments about her on a diary mailing list, she emailed me asking to take a spot on the list - she even quoted my insults on her site! Haha! Now, it seems my space in the webring has been shifted for some reason. I'm not even going to bother asking why, I'll just quietly change the code on my site. In my experience it's best not to mess with the emotionally unstable, but I can't help but laugh at how awkward her actions are.

This office (at subrocket) still smells like shit. I'm not helping by smoking cigarette after cigarette as I type, stuffing the butts into an already filthy ashtray. Try as I might I just can't stop thinking about ChI. Fuck.

Dean