I've been avoiding work. The subrocket hasn't given me very many hours this past week - it's been slow for some reason. I rather enjoy not working but the stress of having to manage the little money I have left is frustrating. I'm considering a day job until the bar picks up some more hours for me. God how am I going to go back to working a day job like the rest of the working world? At least my smoky nighttime atmosphere (and trust me it's not as romantic as it sounds after a few weeks) afforded me a little leisure during the day. Now the prospect of being another working stiff - coming home at 5pm to an empty house - is kind of depressing.

I ran into the singer-girl in the afternoon as I was crossing the street downtown by the new hippie candle shop called 'Fragrance Bug' or some other such ridiculous name such as that. We spoke for about 30 seconds - she was on her way somewhere and couldn't stay to chat... even with me! Oh she blows me off to run an errand I like her already.

I like her independence, I like the fact that she doesn't much care about my schedule or what I do. I like that she gives me a little smirk when I say hello to her - as if she sees right through me. I'm sure she does. When I am interested in a girl I am like a windowpane, a kid in a toy store at christmas, the look on an alcoholics face as he has his first drink of the day. I have the feeling that she likes me. She doesn't want to like me, but I think in a way that she does.

I am obvious.

It's awfully bizarre that the only emails I get from this page are from women. Ahhh perhaps it's my digital pheromones and this warm (for February) Virginia weather. I haven't had to work in days and it's going to my head. Releasing my synapses in caffeine and alcohol day in and day out is getting rid of a pent up exhaustion dating from when ChI left. I'm finally feeling free and stretching my arms, polishing my horns, and reapplying the red devil makeup for a possible date with the singer-girl.

Dean